Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
