I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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