I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I pour the whiskey from now on
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
