Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Is this like a preordered booty call?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
