Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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