just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize
