Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
