And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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