I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
and you fell through a lawn chair
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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