Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
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