Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
