I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
