I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
