You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
