Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
