I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
