I want to stick my p in your. b.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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