If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
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