Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
