I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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