Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
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