Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
i think i just naturally attract stoners
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
