listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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