I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
