i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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