Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
