It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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