She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
