He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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