I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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