Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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