My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
