this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
