What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
