we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
