walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
