I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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