Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Randomize