Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I think I am morally bankrupt
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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