I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
