Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I FOUND THE LEGS
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