Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
