Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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