Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
