I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
