Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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