Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
