Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
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