my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
