I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
