I can tuck mytits in my pants
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
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