I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
He's a Shit stain on my heart
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
