We named our party play list daddy issues
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I want to fling myself into the sun
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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