Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
