dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
