Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
