remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
