I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
