she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
