Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I just had sex on a roof
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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