I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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