OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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