From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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