I'd wear matching sweaters with you
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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