Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
