My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
we're so committed to being not committed
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
