I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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