life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Me too!
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
