The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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