so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
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