"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
