His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
